Knowing You are Loved

Knowing You are Loved

Mystic Bridge members send us questions about a wide range of topics. One question, from Karynne in Los Angeles, asked about a topic that is so central to the Lucid Living philosophy, we wanted to share it here as a feature article.


Question: How do you know you are Loved? 

I know I am deeply loved by the Divine but often when I share this with others I find myself not being able to articulate how I know this, just it is a choice I have made to know, to feel, to live. I have friends who are (struggling with difficult circumstances.) What can you remind me of the knowing we are deeply Loved. How can I share this principle with others and remind myself?

Karynne, Los Angeles


Your question speaks to one of the sacred mysteries of life.  It is perhaps the most personal question of anyone’s spirituality.

Just to be clear, we define spirituality as your relationship to a Divine Source. That spirituality may live within the context of a religion for many people, but the sense of spirituality is not about the religion. It’s about the relationship. So this question of knowing you are loved is a deeply personal question. It’s between you and God, or whatever name you call your Source.

Take a step back and look at the nature of knowing you are loved in general. How do you know anyone loves you? So often we think we “know” based on things others say or do. Certainly loving words and behavior can be expressions and reflections of being loved.

But I think when you look deeper, you’ll find you know you are loved by your experience:

  • Does this person delight in your presence? Do their eyes light up when you appear? Can you sense their joy just being with you?
  • Do they give and care and respond to you? Do they respect you and know you and reveal their vulnerability to you? Are they committed to you? And does their presence bring to you a greater sense of security and pleasure and trust?
  • Do they recognize and celebrate your Goodness, your Truth, your Beauty?
  • And do they give you the freedom and the space to be who you truly are?

These are signposts of being loved.

So where do we go astray when seeking the experience of Divine Love? How can we open to a genuine experience of Divine Love, leading to a knowing that we live everyday?

1. Singular Authority. 

Part of the problem is that when it comes to being loved by a Divine Source, we use a different criteria. When we feel separate from God, we don’t know how to tell if God’s eyes light up in our presence. We assign a kind of external power, a power we call Singular Authority. Instead of retaining our authority for the creation of our lives, we project that authority onto a Divine Source and then interpret the circumstances of our lives as being done to us by God! This is a huge topic, addressed extensively throughout our course work. Unraveling the lie of Singular Authority is the most empowering pursuit of your life.

2. Proving.

A second hurdle is the trap of proving. When looking for an answer to “how” you know you are loved, it begins with the understanding that there’s no way to prove it.  You say you know you are loved by a Divine Source but you can’t articulate how you know, that it is a choice you make to live it. Why isn’t that good enough? Why do you have to explain it? It is your ego that seeks empirical proof to something that will never be proved.

Some say that it is an issue of faith, and that is partly true. But what is often overlooked is that it is an issue of CHOICE. Ultimately, it is a choice you make to embrace this higher truth. It is a world-view, which has more impact on your life than any other choice you make. This is part of your freedom, to choose to see yourself as loved unconditionally by a Divine Source. No one can make this choice for you or “get you” to believe it. Once you make the choice, you embark on a process of discovering deeper levels of this truth. It is something that you deepen and unfold eternally. Even beyond this lifetime.

3. Rescuing.

A third stumbling block to knowing you are loved is bypassing your own journey and getting distracted by trying to get others to believe it. Look deeper– What is your motivation for wanting to share this knowing with others? You mentioned that you have friends with challenging life circumstances. Are they asking you for help to know they are loved? Or are you attempting to rescue them, deciding they would be better off if they believed as you do? This is another complex topic, but it can help to realize that it is arrogant to try to get others to believe as you do. Unless they are asking for your help, it’s none of your business.

4. Knowing. 

I want to zero in on the word “know.”  You ask how to “know” you are loved. It helps to realize that knowing, while sometimes happening spontaneously, most often evolves from awareness to understanding to knowing.  Briefly, the stages are:

  • I become aware… I have a conscious awareness of the idea. It might be the first time I hear it or read it, or I’m aware that others believe it. Think to yourself, when did you become aware of the idea that you are loved by a Divine Source?
  • I understand… Understanding comes with having a personal experience of something. We often hear of a transformational moment, perhaps a Near Death Experience, when someone has a powerful awakening to love. Or it could be a very simple moment, a synchronicity, a gentle nudge from the Universe, where the understanding washes over you, and you experience being loved. It is an experience of understanding.
  • I know… When you know something, you don’t have to remind yourself, you just LIVE IT. Here is a very silly example, Karynne, but I’m guessing that you know you are female. You don’t have to remind yourself to go into the Ladies room when you are in a public place. You live it. When you truly know you are loved, you live your life differently.

So, consider the possibility that even though you say you know you are loved, in truth you understand it. You have an experience of being loved by the Divine, but you don’t yet fully live the truth of it. If this is so, don’t judge yourself, or wish you were somewhere other than where you are. Embrace your understanding, be grateful for it, and allow your spiritual hunger to lead you in pursuit of a deeper knowing. I’ll get to that in a minute.

5. Ego Control. 

Remember the rule of control: Whatever you attempt to control enslaves you.

How much of this agenda to know (prove) you are loved is really an attempt at control? When your ego is seeking proof of God’s love, you are drawn into a losing battle. Your ego will never perceive the higher realms. By its nature, it can only comprehend this physical plane of illusion. How often are you trying to justify something metaphysical (beyond physical) to an ego that demands proof that you cannot give? You just have to step away from the debate.

6. The Nature of our Divine Source is Love.

Once you clear out all the distortions of trying to prove you’re loved, or rescue others or “know” something before you understand it, and you let go of the ego demand to control and possess this proof, you can open yourself to the experience of Divine love. Consider the idea that the very nature of our Divine Source is love. We are loved for all time and beyond time, because love is the essence of life. It is the essence of consciousness.

Further, you can open up to the awareness that not only are you loved, you are loved for no reason. That love is not based on anything you do, or whether you are “good” or “bad” by anyone’s standards. You are loved because you exist. You are loved, as an indivisible part of the One Consciousness that is God-Goddess-All That Is. You can meditate on that, ask for help to understand and know it more fully. You can ponder it and explore it. You can open up your perception to perceive all of life through that lens.

For example, you can experience the bounty of the natural world in an intimate dance with the Divine. You can enter a sacred rapport with the elements, be caressed by a gentle breeze and warmed by the light of the sun. With innocence, humility and hope, you can experience each day as a gift, and allow the choices you make to be an expression of your gratitude for the gift of life. So much beauty is available when you experience life as a gift of love.

7. Receiving the Greatest Gift of Love: Free Will.

Another way to open up to the miracle of divine love is to deeply receive the amazing gift of free will. As humans, we have been given this extraordinary gift, the gift of choice. We have the freedom to use that choice to enhance our lives or to diminish our lives. We all have moments when we are seduced to use that gift to hide behind a lie of Singular Authority. When we do this, we are hoping to become children, to be able to follow rules of right and wrong and earn life as a reward (as well as watch others be punished for their transgressions). This choice brings misery and suffering, but it is still your choice to make.

It can be harder still to allow others the free will to hide in the illusion of separation and powerlessness. Part of loving is respecting that choice, just as your Divine Source respects your choice to hide from love whenever you take that path.

Receiving the gift of free will comes with the responsibilities of embracing your own Supreme Authority. You set down the illusion of an outside Singular Authority who determines the course of your life. You embark on a journey of embracing responsibility, which includes the complexity of sorting out all the distortions of what that responsibility entails. You learn to perceive the beauty and wonder of your divine journey.  With each piece of responsibility claimed, you find greater freedom and joy.

In so many ways, this is why we created Lucid Living… to offer the wisdom and the tools to a community of seekers who are committed to the joyous pursuit of responsibility, and courageous enough to embrace the freedom that comes with it.

Isn’t it interesting that the most personal spiritual question– How do I know I am loved?— plunges us each into the adventure of discovering and embracing our own profound power, and learning to accept the full weight of responsibility for our lives? Is there anything more loving than that?

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