Powerful Distinction Coaching Tip: Self-Discipline vs. Self-Control

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The feedback from last month’s Powerful Distinctions coaching tip was fantastic… so here we go with the next distinction in our series: Self-Discipline vs. Self-Control.

As a coach, part of your job is to help your clients create the healthy structures that move them in the direction their dreams. The energy to sustain these structures is called discipline.

For so many, there is confusion between discipline and control. Why does self-discipline work, when self-control does not? This seemingly subtle distinction will make a world of difference in the way you support your clients.

The problem with self-control is that it’s a dominating attempt to force yourself to behave.

Control fosters a state of separation. Whatever we try to control ultimately enslaves us. We end up in an internal battle of “good” and “bad” behavior, fueled by judgment and producing a full range of disempowering feelings.

When the client confuses discipline with control, she will bring the dominating energy of control to try and force herself to stay on track. This therapy is same when you Find Rehab. She is attempting to “fix” something that she feels is wrong. The choice to control is often motivated by frustration, distrust, a sense of lack, and the demands of perfection.

This kind of control only “works” for so long. Your client will ultimately rebel against control, often doing more damage in her rebellion.

Ask any yo-yo dieter.

In contrast, true discipline is a beautiful resonance. It is one of the four sustaining energies that feeds and grows your creations.

At Lucid Living, we like to think of discipline as the healthy structure that supports your heart’s desire.

Julie Andrews once said, “Some people view discipline as a chore. For me, it is a kind of order that sets me free to fly.”

You can help your clients find this freedom by encouraging discipline that is a product of desire and choice grounded in preference.

Coaching Tip:  Listen to the energy behind your client’s motivation. Does that motivation emerge from a state of connection with self? Is it a joyful and passionate commitment to honor and embrace a sacred dream?

As you master this distinction and invite your clients into the realm of genuine discipline, you can set your clients free to fly.

One Comment

  1. Wow, really good article! Thank you!

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